Hunting's Never Been So Emotional
by promise99
Summary: AU This is for SilverxDawn's Disney Classics challenge.  My prompt was Snow White.  Roy and Artemis go hunting for the Seven Dwarves.  Artemis and Roy viciously hunt and kill the dwarves.  Darkfic.  ONE-SHOT.  Please R&R


**I had time before Beauty and the Beast rehearsal, so I decided to write. My brother gave me an idea, so I hope you like it. It definitely has crack undertones, but it's dark too. Let's just say that dwarfs couldn't be in enough trouble. Oh, and sorry for taking so long. It's bothering me. I'm glad I apologized. This is for SilverxDawn's Disney Classic's challenge.**

**Hunting's Never Been So Emotional**

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><p>Artemis POV<p>

Let's see who's on the list.

Doc

Grumpy

Dopey

Happy

Sleepy

Sneezy

Bashful

Bring it on, bitches.

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><p>I was sitting next to Roy, planning out how we were going to hunt these guys down. He shot me a look, and I grabbed my bow. I got onto my horse, who I named Sugar. What? A tomboy can't have a girly horse?<p>

"Artemis, let's go. First one on the hit list is Doc." Roy looked at the sheet of paper he had gotten at the city hall. The queen was giving a 50,000 dollar bounty for all seven dwarves. This was going to be easy.

"Roy, if Doc is a doctor, the best place to look would be an orphanage or something. Why don't we stop at an orphanage?"

"That's exactly what I was thinking, Artemis." He nudged his horse and the horse ran at full speed, leaving me in the dust.

"HEEY! Wait up!"

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><p>"Stop! Please! I was only helping the poor and sick children! Have some mercy!" Doc was cornered in the orphanage. Roy drew his hunting knife, going in for the kill. I was quicker. I grabbed my bow and shot an arrow through Doc's head.<p>

The arrow easily flew through his skull and landed in the wall. Doc's brain was torn out and on the floor. A mist of blood was emanating from his corpse. All of the blood landed on a little boy standing close to him. Roy grabbed the corpse by the hair and shoved it into the sack on his saddle. That boy was going to be scarred for life.

"Roy, I beat you! I got the first kill! You owe me a drink after all of this is after." I smirked at him, and he smirked back.

"Yeah, I'll give you a drink all right…." He frowned and crossed Doc off of the hit list.

"Who's next?"

Roy consulted his notes, and after a moment, he said, "Grumpy."

I nodded in appreciation. Roy looked down at the paper again. "This one is dangerous. He's a convicted con artist, thug, rapist, and mass murderer?"

"It's a question?" I gasped in exasperation. Roy smirked.

"You know, Artemis, you'll be prey for Grumpy if you don't stay on your toes."

I grabbed for the sheet with the bounties on it. "Cute, Roy, but it says here that Grumpy rapes guys."

Roy gasped. Then he muttered, "Shit." I laughed at him.

"If you're not on your toes, Roy, you'll be prey for Grumpy."

"Ha ha, Artemis. Very cute."

In case you didn't realize, Roy and I have a love-hate relationship. And we're both extremely competitive with each other. Which is why I bet that I'd get the first kill. And I won. So, it looks like Roy may get raped. Not by Grumpy, though. By me.

As we were walking through the street, we heard a scream. A little boy was running out of an alley, wearing rags on his upper half. He was bottomless. As he was running away, a short, violent looking man in a red shirt ran out of the alley with a rope.

"Get back here, you little bitch! I'm not done with you!" He grabbed the rope and threw it at the little boy like it was a whip. The boy kept on running, though.

I looked at Roy. "Go time," we said in unison.

I knocked an arrow and fired it. I had attached a length of wire to it, so the dwarf would trip over it. He tripped, all right. Roy grabbed his hunting knife and walked toward the dwarf.

"Durn it, how in tarnation did I trip? My bitch be getting away!" He moved to run, but tripped again. Roy helped him up. Grumpy looked at Roy, and then he tackled him.

"Oh, well, that little bitch is gone, but now I have a muscular teenager in his place! You hear me, boy? You're my bitch."

Roy grinned evilly. "Really? Because I thought you were dead."

Grumpy frowned in confusion. Quick as a flash, Roy unsheathed his hunting knife and slit Grumpy's throat.

"Artemis, grab the sack. Two down, five to go." Roy got up and dusted himself off.

"Roy? You're ruthless." I clapped his back and held out the sack, where Doc was waiting for a companion.

I looked at the list. Next up was Dopey, the idiotic dwarf. Roy grabbed my knife. "Hey, what are you doing?"

"I need your knife for a second." He took my knife and threw it into a tree next to him.

"What was the significance of that?"

"I was testing the sharpness of it. And since it's sunk in to the hilt, I'd say it's pretty sharp." He grinned as he finished his sentence.

"No shit, Sherlock. Now let's go and find Dopey." I got onto my horse, but Roy sat there in the stable. "What's up, Roy? Upset that you didn't get to make Grumpy's death slow enough?"

He looked up at me for a minute. "I'm hungry."

I nearly fell off of my horse. "You're hungry? Well, so am I, dumbass! But we can't eat until we get paid! And we get paid by killing these damn elves!"

"They're dwarves."

"I know what they are! Now get your ass up and help me hunt them!"

I could not believe the nerve of Roy, knowing full well that we were broke. And he wants to go and get food. Argh! We need money to get food! Doesn't he get that?

"You know, Artemis, by the way you're reacting, I'd say you're on the rag." He winked at me.

"You know, Roy, I just might have to kill you." I gritted my teeth and walked towards him.

"In your nightmares, Artemis. I taught you most of what you know. You wouldn't kill me." He looked at the door.

"Oh, I wouldn't? What's you're an-" Roy put his hand over my mouth, effectively silencing me. I turned to see what Roy was looking at. The idiot elf was just standing there, eating dirty hay.

Roy moved up to my ear. "On the count of three," he whispered. "One, two…" I charged Dopey and grabbed him, and Roy grabbed rope.

"This elf is an idiot." I smirked.

"He's a dwarf, Artemis." Roy fashioned a crude noose and placed it around Dopey's neck. I jumped up and placed the rope over a support beam, while Roy lifted Dopey up and held him up. When I secured the rope, Roy let Dopey drop. He bounced like a yo-yo, and the shock broke his neck.

When he was low enough, I ran up to his corpse and started to beat it. With every punch on the corpse, I imagined hitting Roy.

"Are you done, Artemis? We have a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it." Roy was putting the rope back on to the saddle.

"You know what, Roy?"

"What?"

"You're an ass."

"That's what all the ladies say."

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><p>I was riding my horse through the woods when I heard giggling. I left Roy behind because I couldn't deal with him. He knows just how to rub me the wrong way. I needed to take my anger out on something that could feel pain. Just to get it out of my system.<p>

I looked around and saw a dwarf by a stream, staring at his reflection and giggling. I decided to sneak up on him. After all, these crafty sons of bitches can really mess with your head.

"Oh, hello, young lady! How are you doing on this fine day?"

_Damn. I've been spotted._

"I'm not doing too great. My friend's just made me very angry. He just doesn't understand." I walked toward the stream and stared into the crystal-clear water. I could see fish through the surface of the water. They were gliding and flitting about like the sunlight through the trees.

"Miss, why don't you take this? It'll make you feel better." Happy offered me a mysterious golden powder.

"This won't knock me out, will it? I don't want to be raped…." I sighed and sat down. I took the drug from him.

"Oh, don't worry, Miss. This is, oh, what do humans call it? Ah! Mood stabilizers." He grinned cheerfully, showing off his shiny teeth.

"Oh, thank you very much!" I took the powder. It was hard to take. It's not like I had a water bottle to dump it in.

As soon as I took it, I started to feel hopeful and content. "Thank you very much, sir! I feel so much better now."

Happy shook my hand in a friendly gesture, and I smiled at him. He seemed to be so full of life and joy. I looked down at the water again, and when I looked back at Happy, and arrow was sticking out of his neck. He was dead.

I screamed in horror as his blood exploded from the wound, getting all over my clothes. I looked to see Roy standing in the distance, stowing his bow and grabbing the sack.

"Artemis! Are you all right?" Roy ran towards me and grabbed me. He pulled me away from the corpse.

"Why did you do that? I had him!" I stomped on Roy's foot. I grabbed the corpse and flung it into the sack. I got on my horse and went back to the stable. Roy followed me.

He got off his horse when we got to the stable. "Artemis, I'm just doing what you want me to! I'm killing the dwarves so we can get money so we can get food! You told me to!" Roy was pleading with me to look at him.

I turned to Roy and hit him in the arm. "I don't want to hear you beg. It makes you sound weak. Come on. We need to kill the rest of the dwarves. Sleepy is next. Where do you think we can find him?"

Roy thought for a minute. "Maybe a nursery or a halfway home or something." He grabbed the list of dwarves. "Yeah, it says that Sleepy can be found in slower locations."

I stood up and grabbed my bow. "Sleepy locations, huh? Wouldn't that be someplace warm? Maybe a hot spring or a sand bath or something. Let's go and check out the nearest hot spring. It's only a league away."

I thought for sure that Sleepy would be in a sand bath. I mean, it makes sense: a sleepy dwarf chilling underneath warm sand on a relaxing beach. What's not to love about it?

Roy and I rode hard for about an hour to the nearest hot spring. It was located in the middle of a forest, and it was basically a hotel. There was a line of people waiting to check in, but we headed straight for the hot spring. Sure enough, we saw an elf lying on the ground, his purple cap getting sandy. He was knocked out.

"You wanna just kill him quickly? I mean, we don't want to make a scene… what should we do?" Roy already knocked an arrow. "I guess we kill him quickly."

The arrow went through his head quickly and cleanly. Sleepy had a swift death. However, the blood went straight into the sand, staining the earth a sickly scarlet color. All of a sudden, a woman screamed. We were caught red handed.

I looked at Roy. "On three," I said. Which really meant on one. But they didn't know that. "ONE!" We grabbed the corpse and jumped over the screaming lady. We made a mad dash for the horses.

* * *

><p>"Well, that was fun. I mean, we came, we saw, we killed! Never again," I said. We don't need that kind of drama going on around us all day.<p>

"Come on," Roy said as he put his arm around my waist. "You have to admit that it was sort of fun. Did you see that woman's face? It was priceless." I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever, Roy. Come on, Sneezy's up next. Maybe he's at the pound or something. If he's sneezing frequently, you know?" It was just an idea, but it was sort of a bad one. I mean, don't people who are allergic to things tend to stay away from those things?

"All right, let's go," said Roy. "Come on, grab your bow! Get moving!" He pushed me toward my horse and whistled to his. The horses knew that we were going to have fun.

We rode to the pound. It was loud and smelled like piss and crap. The dogs kept barking like savages as we got closer.

"I hate dogs," muttered Roy. Just because he was attacked by a wolf when hunting a princess with skin as white as snow, he had a hatred for all canines. I loved dogs. I mean, they're so loyal and nice, and they don't ask for anything except love and food!

I got off my horse and Roy stood outside. I saw a short little man with red eyes and a runny nose at the front desk. He kept sneezing uncontrollably, like someone sprinkled pepper all over his face.

"Go- go- good-achoo!"

_Gazootite._

"Good afternoon," he said. "May I be of assistance?" He looked horrible. I was about to put him out of his misery.

"Excuse me, sir, but it looks like you're suffering from allergies. I have some medicine that could help. Would you like some?" I put on my best salesperson façade. After all, I needed to drug this man.

"Oh, yes! Thank you, Miss. These gosh darned dogs keep me sneezing like a mad man." He took the medicine. "Say, is this Claritin?"

"No, sir. It's Allegra. It's way more potent than Claritin. And it won't make you drowsy!" Pssh. That was a total lie.

He took the drug. Three minutes later, he was unconscious and tied to Roy's saddle. We rode back to the stable. In case you haven't caught on, the stable is our hideout. There, we tied Sneezy to a chair and waited for him to wake up.

"Do you wanna curb-stomp him?" I asked Roy. Roy grinned in an evil-yet-attractive way.

"No, I say we use that Chinese water torture on him. Let's make him beg for death. We've been way too conservative and quick with the executions lately."

As Roy was speaking, Sneezy woke up. "I must say, release me, you vagabond scullions!"

_Scullions?_

"I've never heard that one before. Roy, do your thing." Roy grabbed Sneezy by the chin and tilted his head up. I grabbed a water pitcher and placed one drop of water on his forehead. It slowly started to go down his face.

"What are you doing? Miss, I demand-" WHAM.

"Shut your filthy mouth, you scum. We're going to torture you, and then kill you." Roy was in the zone this time.

After what felt like hours of water torture, I picked up my bow. "Hey, Roy, I'm done waiting, Bashful is waiting for us. We need to end this."

"I agree. You want to do the honors?" Roy grabbed his bow and handed it to me.

"I have my own bow, thanks." I glared at him.

"At least take the special arrow. Please?" Roy gave me his puppy dog eyes. I couldn't resist the puppy eyes.

"Fine." I took the arrow. It had a twisted tip for boring through hard substances quickly, while causing pain.

I knocked the arrow and Sneezy got really scared. "Please, Miss, don't do this!"

"Sorry, sweetie, but I have to. For my own good." I fired the arrow.

* * *

><p>"How hard is it to find an elf?" asked Roy, impatiently.<p>

"Roy, they're dwarves, not elves. And this one is named Bashful. He's a shy creature. Like a platypus."

"Okay, if you were shy, where would you go?"

I thought for a minute. "Home?"

"Cute, Artemis."

I smiled. "I try," I said sassily. "Besides, he's probably in the library or something. Somewhere he doesn't need to talk."

Suddenly, light bulbs went off in our heads. "The movies!"

We went to the closest movie theatre, which was huge. But, it only showed one move per night. It was one huge theatre, so Bashful had to be in there.

We got tickets and walked in. The theatre was empty. I mean, there were only a few people in, and the movie had already started. I scanned the area, looking for a hat. I found no such hat.

"Damn," whispered Roy. "How hard is it to find a dwarf?" The few people there offered him "shh's", which only made him more angry.

We sat through the whole movie, in silence. When the lights came back on, we saw a short little man waddling towards us. "Bingo," said Roy.

I stepped out and introduced myself. "Excuse me, sir, but I'm new in town. I'm lost. Could you show me how to get to the stables?"

He blushed deeply. I guess he wasn't used to girls talking to him. He was the epitome of a stereotypical gamer. "Uh, sure thing, young lady. Come, let us go to the stables."

I followed Bashful to his horse. I knew Roy was right behind us, so I knew I would have backup in case he tried something freaky.

After riding with him for a while, we stopped at a hut that was not a stable. So, I played along. I tried my best to be a stereotypical "dumb blonde".

"That sure is a small stable," I stated. "Tiny horses must live in a tiny stable!" He got off the horse and helped me down. Before I knew it, I was handcuffed and gagged.

"Shh, my sweet, it'll all be over soon." I was gripped by panic. Before I knew it, I was thrown down some stairs and landed on a mattress.

_Please, Roy! Help! I can't fight back! _

Bashful started to get undressed. "You tried to play me, bitch? You're gonna get punished." He ripped off my pants and punched my face. He removed my gag and stuck his finger into my mouth. I bit him extremely hard. I broke through his skin, and he shrieked in pain.

"Bitch-WHAM-Don't-WHAM-Bite-WHAM-ME!" He punched me with each word. Now I know why the queen wanted these savages captured.

He threw off his underwear and moved on top of me. I was screaming at the top of my lungs.

_I need to get out of this situation. I have free reign of my legs…_

I kicked him in the groin right before he touched me. He yelled out in protest, but I kicked him in the face. I rolled and got up, but my hands were still tied.

_Where are you, Roy?_

I started to run upstairs, but Bashful caught his breath. He began to pursue me. I ran out onto the front yard and he followed. I attempted to mount the horse, but he dragged me down.

"Bitch, I'm going to take you right here, right now." He moved toward my panties, but Roy finally arrived and kicked him in the face.

"Bastard! Don't you touch her!" Roy kicked Bashful in the face again, effectively breaking his nose and silencing him. Blood gushed from his broken nose in a torrent, coloring the ground a dark red color.

"You—you broke my nose!" Bashful wailed in pain. I grabbed Roy's knife from his sheath and stabbed Bashful in the chest. I kept on stabbing him.

"You-STAB-son-STAB-of-STAB-a-STAB-BITCH! You deserve a much more painful death!" I kept stabbing his corpse until Roy pulled me away.

"Evil bastard! You deserve to die!"

Roy pulled me into a hug. I finally broke down into racking sobs. Roy was making white noise and rubbing my back, trying to calm me down. "It's okay, Artemis. It's okay. He didn't touch you. Shh. It's okay."

I kept on crying for a half hour. I just sat there with Roy, sobbing with distress. After a while, I began to calm down.

"I don't want you doing that again, Artemis. That was way too close. I never want to see you get hurt."

I just sat there, thinking. I gave Roy a hug, after letting everything out. "Thank you, Roy." My voice was broken and thick from crying. I didn't sound like myself at all.

Roy stood up. "Come on, Artemis. Let's go and turn in the bounty. Afterward, I never want you to bounty hunt again. What if I wasn't there? It could've turned out way worse."

I looked down. "I know, Roy. Thank you." I gave him one last hug before getting on the horse.

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><p>After we killed the last dwarf, we got paid 50,000 dollars. We bought the stable. Roy was still bounty hunting. I did too. What he didn't know won't hurt him. After all, those dwarves were bitches to catch. As I always say, if he can do it, I can do it. Probably even better, too.<p>

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><p><strong>Longest oneshot ever! Probably the darkest thing I've ever done. I think it turned out better than I expected. Sorry for the delay. I just wanted this to be perfect! Please readreview! XD**


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